Thursday, September 30, 2010

obnoxious much?

if you knew me, you'd know.
but seriously?
i'm reminded of the times i've been asked:
" you like me right?"


i'm constantly amused.i doubt it's desperation, but it is obnoxious.

you wish kan?
i wish too.

ok i know the pictures have NOTHING to do with the topic, but considering how amused yet unsure i was of how i felt...these pictures make me smile.and i i DONTCH care!

:be good:

do we really have it better?

a stupid comment read somewhere:
are blind people afraid of the dark?

i don't think it's that stupid to think about tho.
if they were blind from birth, the dark is all they know. and that makes them above those with fear of the dark.
look down on them all yu want, but they have conquered one very common fear.

are we going to keep coming up with excuses for ourselves?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

everything about you

ever loved a song so much yu got the album only to find the rest just wasn't as good? i have personal favs of which..i LURVVEEEE the entire one or two songs but i dont hate em, i just might not adore them as much... but thts only like 0.0001% of the issue.SO here Goes MY FAVOURITE ALBUMS list:


-"Spirit Room" (2001)
Maybe you might say that everything in this album sounds the same,but it is really all about her lyrics and play of words. Almost all the songs move me lyrically, whether it is about regrets or love or just simple friendship.

- "Hotel Paper" (2003)
I was ecstatic about this album because a dear friend got the original for me for my 15th birthday!(the birthday i got 4 cds but this is my ultimate fave really). The music... she just grew with this one. The earnestness only grew more matured and had even more depth.

-"Ocean Eyes" (2009)
the quirky lyrics.poppy.cutesy beats.need i say more?

I read 'The Chronicles of Narnia' to this album on loop. Kinda gave me a soundtrack to my favourite series in the worlddddd.... sigh...not to mention they quite fell in place with each was a very personal and emotional experience for me,especially while growing was all very spiritual somehow.

- "Final Straw" (2003)

-"Eyes Open" (2006)
Both had the kind of vibe that keeps you in a moment, but i much preferred Eyes Open as the flow of the album really gelled well. The intensity of 'Run', 'Set Fire to the Third Bar' and 'The Finish Line' was breathtaking. In fact, im listening to Set Fire while i'm typing this... such the awesome combination of vocals to portray such longing.
i sleep well to both albums :D:D

off the top of my head,that's all for now :)

random #4726

-cinematic razor sharp
-lonely written words for company
-only take what you can carry
-every second dripping off my fingertips
-in defence of our dreams

Monday, September 27, 2010

what do you love?

i think this might be the kickstart i need to open up a tumblr of the things that make me feel happy, and move me.
any ideas for titles? so far i've got:
-happy machine
-a tough cookie's joy
-i just bend their spoons
-happy maker
-of joys and technicalities
will pick later? i guess? :(

Tuesday, September 21, 2010



when you cry, your eyes get smaller, but your lips swell up.hurms…

*enjoys momentary angelina lips *

the tetris day



so uhm, today, i felt like i kept misplacing my Tetris bricks. First, i thought it was YAY! I WOKE UP AT 9.30! but then i realized it was only because i woke up at 7.40am. Hurms. then decided to finish the journal.whilst doing so,realized purse was missing! *panicky panicky nicky  nicky nick* contact all possible people. Hor,ACHeww…. hor was busy so i had to wait….exhausted all other possibilities and he was my only hope.if not,police report it is :( agonizing wait,so i got halfway through my journal. on the verge of letting it all go and while on the way to print, PURSE IS RECOVERED! i su careless :(

So, all on the go, print, lunch-bumpies into Laiyee.LenLen.and erika. :D after that,home and completion of journal plus submission. Then, much needed rest.


Dinner however was accompanied but ugly truths.submissions.sigh.



i’m still learning.i’m still trying.i’m still just one person.


PS: random rainbow cake for sadness.ntg to  do with post :D

Monday, September 20, 2010

He's the expert tetris player.

He truly is the expert tetris player.Whenever i screw up the bricks and it seems i'm going to lose, He comes in and maneuvers incoming bricks into the right places and getting me tetris(es?) making everything better in the Tetris game of life. :)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

random thought#1

just a random thought:

National Service was a hype i knew was gonna die down.
Hence the fact i never allowed myself to be planted in too deep,
so i could easily uproot and detach myself from any emotion.

such the ice queen

now i see what they saw

Now i truly feel i've wasted practically a whole year of my life. seeing from the outside now, i don't know how i could have fallen for such a pretentious, obnoxious, snide prick. there is no other word for it. besides driving one up the wall, there's nothing he does best.
he merely knows how to bring you down, for his satisfaction.
he does not know how to jest in consideration,
nor know how to hold a conversation.
he beats around the entire forest before coming up with the conclusion
of zero significance.
he delights in the frustration of you being at your limits.
he rejoices in the fact that you may be confused and keeps you in that limbo, just for his entertainment.

i don't know what i saw in him now. i truly fear my judgement at this point.

you have officially turned me off completely.
i hope you're happy now.
many have asked why do i even still respond to you
or waste my time interacting with one such as yourself.
i was only trying to be a better person
and trying to treat people better.
and yet they are still right.
i achieved nothing in trying to be nice to you.

why did i even try.

does the lack of a question mark there not confuse you now?

Monday, September 13, 2010

now what

i went through it with the first one. i thought the worst was over.

i'm far from right.

i can't... say what i meant anymore. it will never be right.

it hurts so bad. and i don't know anything anymore.

i can't fit into the mould you prepared for me.

i'll try harder.

the house

so it was a house,filled with bodies to be cremated,and i didn't feel a thing.

he held my hand and helped me make my way around the corpses that were scattered in blue rooms. Piles and piles of them. Some wrapped up neatly in white, some with limbs hanging out, some barely shrouded, all respect for the deceased thrown out the window. Occasionally we step on things we regret.through traditional kampung house doors, down old-school cement stairs.

7.13 am

my heart stops in my chest in confusion.

it stops in my throat, it doesn't know what it wants.

it doesn't know what is going on.


Tuesday, September 07, 2010

so uhm...

... yea... stephen chow movies. had a total 1malaysia experience yesterday,or more like what 1malaysia should look like. in a muslim food place, during hari raya season, they were watching a Stephen Chow movie. yes, no one asked to switch channels or anything like that, and everyone was riveted to the screen, all watching. it felt good. it gives me hope in a silly way.

and stephen chow movies... yea you said " you watch Chinese movies meh? you're so English"

i do watch Chinese movies, i used to keep up with tvb dramas and, just for the heck of me i don't know why i can't remember titles. but i did watch.used to get into trouble for wanting to rush off from dinner so i don't miss anything.

and the movie last night was pretty entertaining :) made me forget my gloom glooms (not the pokemon). the random (for me at least) choir session was pretty fun too :)

: the simplest things that can make your day, can break them too,and it works both ways :

sometimes quiet,not - doing-much moments are enjoyable. i find it fun to have a partner to do nothing with. doing nothing together is pretty kidding.

i am grateful for the people who say "oK! let's have mcD breakfast!" and do it.and for the people who let you do it :)

downside? i can't sleep now :( too much unsettled thoughts linger in the back of my mind :(

Monday, September 06, 2010

Dear Mind,

Thank you for letting Body get the rest she needed even though you were busy and worked up. You woke up so early. 8 am is really early. And that was too early for poor Body who really needed to rest. I honestly thought you should have rested longer too. but i understand :) Sometimes there are so many things going through you that sleep seems impossible :(

I do hope you rest well later. and get yourself off of things. don't stress yourself out too much. It kinda takes a toll on me and Body. i know you have good intentions but sometimes you habe to absorb what others say and not be so stubborn :)


ps: Tummy is very grateful to kimmeh and ken for the chocolate cornetto . Hope it helped make you feel better too :)

Saturday, September 04, 2010

realistic much?

it's not easy coming to terms with being objectified, but that's what realistic people do.
they suck it up and take it like a man.

it's not easy accepting that whatever good intentions you have will give you the "license" to be taken advantage of.
but that thats what realistic people do.
they absorb that and wise up in their future actions.

Friday, September 03, 2010

one can...

-one can dream of many things,
then laugh with their eyes closed.


little reminders

- you will be good enough for the one that deserves you-

trying to keep that in mind.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

how to make the world a better place #1

Why couldn't people be more understanding?
and took the time to learn more about each other before coming to conclusions?
why is it so difficult to be the bigger person and not center the world around yourself?
why couldn't more people think like this? :

-Just take your time and listen
Make peace and love your mission-

-Being quick to judge is easy stuff
But to love
Sometimes its tough-

I wonder if you talked to me
Would you see a better man?
I sure hope thats what youd do
Cause I would see a better you

i posted before about how i've gotten into huge arguments just because i pointed out one good thing about someone who wasn't at the top of everyone's favourite list. was i wrong to try to see the best in others?

i am, but one girl, but i try... i do try...

and you, would you try to see a better me? cause i would see a better you.

what i do know is @ wiki-

skinny doesn't mean pretty, pretty doesn't mean skinny.i have neither,that's where personality comes in.

I think.