Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Salvation is free. Always has, always will be.

Had some free time on my hands today, so I decided I'll talk about one of the things I like, MUSIC!
Just a song in particular. It has a very strong tie-in to my childhood, not as much influence but it's one of those things that got my brain cogs turning.

The Cranberries - Salvation

I've been listening to The Cranberries ever since i first started meddling with the radio, give it around... 9 or 10 years old. So, it's always been a staple of my late 90's self. It was around that time when Metro Vision was the closest thing I had to Astro. Yes, itu benar, aku bukan budak era Astro. I have always been very into music videos, let me clarify, of the 90's! Back when 3d tech was first starting up. Was always very intrigued by the effects. So you can imagine when i first saw this video, needless to say, i was hooked. Well, of course clowns weren't my favourite thing, thanks to a picture of a crying clown in my cousins bedroom where i stayed over the weekends. But the thing about me is that i tend to keep looking at the things that scare and fascinate me. ( go figure ) I was a kid (i must say this again n again ok?) so i always wondering why they used a clown, what more a clown that looked like that. AGAIN I MUST SAY...ini sebelum era Wikipedia dan internet ok? information wasn't so accessible then. it was frustrating. trust me. Back to the story, why the clown? why the needles? why the flowers? why the car? as a kid it did cross my mind to have a hint demonic/ possession qualities. I did wonder, just because it looked like something negative, it might not be that the video was bad, seeing the lyrics didn't reflect it. Yes, again. As a kid i always tried to catch the lyrics to absorb and reflect, to see what the singer was trying to tell. I was always super attentive when it came on the radio, so i could catch the lyrics. And as a kid, most of what i caught was:

"Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. 
Salvation, salvation, salvation is free. "

Growing up in a Christian home, I very much agreed with this. Salvation is free, has always been. But I wasn't a very naive kid, I did have reservations of the possibilities of it being sarcastic. 
Good to know it was directly what it means.

Now with my best friend, wikipedia, i learnt that :

"It is one of the most acclaimed videos by the band's fans. It has a bizarre mood, and notorious references to drug use and abuse. It shows a clown with needles instead of hair, a confused girl whose parents are being held by the clown, all in a torn house at the top of a hill.
The bizarre images are supposed to represent the effects drugs have on people. The clown jumping on the teddy bear is a symbol of the loss of innocence, and the trapped parents show how drugs are a problem that affect not only the consumer, but also his or her close relatives/friends."

 And knowing all that, I'm glad that i did have good music taste (che wahhh!) Not everything though, but knowing one of my favourite songs was actually good for you. *successbaby.jpg* Lyrics do matter. One cannot always judge a song by the video, but this video was good la.... technology wise, meaning wise, symbolism wise.... creepily fascinating clown is meaningful :p

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


emotional and mental stress always, at some point translate into physical illness....everything that's in your head can manifest in physical pain :(

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


It's somehow amazing (not in a good way) that someone can forget everything you've done for them... over something they imagined up.... and dispose of a friendship just like that *snap fingers* 

The times when i dropped everything i was doing just to go to them, even when my friends tried to stop me, ie : keeping my phone if i decide to help them... and i did walk away with every intention to leave my phone behind.

The times i'd drive all the way to wherever you need to be because my car was bigger than yours, helping you carry something another guy was meant to do. Driving all the way into anywhere because you needed to get something and you were tired. Driving home alone while sick and tired and sleepy after dropping you off. While you cater to the safety of someone else like they were the last princes on earth. 

I know you've done some pretty nice things for me, but now, after knowing your intentions all this while... i'd rather yu didn't. I called off plans just for you because you asked me to, but you would rather go watch a cheap movie when our friendship was on the line. 

I believed you every time you said you were sorry.
every single time.

And I would never ever use someone for personal gain. I hate doing that. Total pantang. Just because it's something you have been doing all your life.... you cannot assume someone else would do it to you. yes, it's bound to happen, but i'm the last person that will do it to you. I'd rather not ask you unless under dire circumstances. i really hate to see things go down this road, and i'm sorry if i hurt you at any point. 

It pains much. that you didn't listen, didn't read, didn't ask before plunging into your own imagination and assumption of something without clarifying. Crap happens when you don't pay attention to people. I'm sorry you misunderstood. I'm sorry you didn't take the time to clarify things before taking action. It's not my fault if you were rash. It doesn't give you a place to call me names or accuse me of using you. People discuss plans and sometimes plans don't work out. I've arranged stuff and cancelled them because of circumstances. In no way was i using anyone for anything. I've been cancelled on before, many times... i don't pit my friendship into the equations. If they can deal with what they are and what they do, it's their battle to fight, not mine.

I wish you would have just listened. When i speak, when i answer, when i respond. Things might not have been as frustrating.

And....dragging in the past and people with whom my chapters have shut on, what kind of person does that make you?

Friends, real ones, do not hold information against someone else to use it to bring someone they call their friends down. In this case, i guess it's more logical if you're doing it to bring an enemy down.  But there are bigger things in life than bringing someone down, like pick yourself up and climbing higher. I ache inside, knowing the friendship was built on lies and empty promises. I'm grieving, that it ended over an assumption and rash action. I know you don't care how i feel, but i do feel hurt you don't listen. I feel hurt that my opinion doesn't matter to you, which is why you don't take the time to clarify and take the initiative to know i feel or tell me what you're doing. 

You've been so used to making me do whatever you want me to do that the one time i say no/not sure you say i'm using you. Have you ever thought of the many times you turned me down when i needed you the most. When i had no one else, only you and you turned me down, time and time again for menial your tv series, lazy to walk etc.

And i am the stupid one all this while. It was never out of character for you to do what you did, yet i always saw you as a better person and time and time again believed you weren't really like that. All the time, deluding myself into thinking you would not be selfish without personal gain. Never considering you to be of that nature, and every single time feeling hurt and surprised when you let me down. Every single time. i don't know what i was thinking and maybe i still don't. My heart still believes that you can really be a sincere person. I struggle to accept the cold hard proof that you wouldn't doing anything without personal gain. I'm still struggling with that. I'm still trying to see with everyone else's eyes. 

I really wished that it didn't have to turn out this way, but you chose to assume and.... i'm truly, absolutely tired. Tired. So tired for defending myself with the truth. So tired. 

I wish you all the best. I really hope that one day you will find someone you're willing to be sincere with. And when that day happens, the person you choose will be sincere to you as well. I'm sad that i have to be the one to back down, but, you're not going to move or consider my feelings/emotions/situations. I mean, it's never been part of your list before, why would it be now?

I guess I'll have to do what everyone else has done/asked me to do. I don't like it...but it is what it is.

Didn't plan for my new do for this reason, but i guess it's a start. the reality of the situation makes me shake. 

it is what it is.

I know you'll do fine but i do hope you're sincere with them in the way you never were with me. May you treat them better and never find reason to deliberately hurt them. A real friend would never want to do that.
A real friend would want to see their friends happy, not deliberately make them miserable.

May you not waste your emotions being bitter over someone you truly don't care about... there are better things to do with your emotions than waste it over me. 

Monday, April 09, 2012


yes... power.... power of 1....

Remember that hyped up event at the Bukit Jalil Stadium carpark? yea...this is a super late update about it.

We dropped by after lunch, conveniently missing the free parking and having to walk QUITE A DISTANCE.
What are the odds that, the moment we parked the car and got out... HUGE HUGE raindrops start hitting us. Yes. Hitting. Like PLAK PLAK PLAK into my eye. Sakits. A bit a bit wet. But made it to the nearest shelter...which was the merchandise tent.... that was air-conditioned. Frozen much?
btw, this greeted us at the entrance to the tent.

I know sex sells...but a bit too much.

We lepaked in the tent, waiting out the heavy drizzle, and checked out the merchadises. Understandably pricey cuz it's branded. Any hoo, once the rain let up, we headed outside

Some of the blinged, zhng-ed out Proton cars.

We headed into the area where the nicer cars for the demos were to check out what's it like inside. More Pictures than words. It's just better that way.

Walking past the pretty cars...

To the prettiest ride of the day

with not so pretty me wanting to kepoh in the picture. I don't know why I posed to awkwardly. Maybe because paiseh...because...the angmohs were there. awkwardasianmoment.jpg

Outfit :
Blue semi-sheer chiffon sleevelss button down collared top from Pink Box
(bought for yailee's 21st but it wasn't good enough)
Long black tank from Forever 21 worn as a mini dress.

betch didn't know it's all fun, colourful buttons. think Dee dee... 
or you guys already knew and i'm super jakun.

Close up of the sponsors... ReXONA...not for your armpits this.

Caught a pic before they moved out to the track.

Them media man beg to differ..... nope. just doing their job

Vrooming around the track laik aye baus.

The crew actually RAN out to tend to the car right after the demo

Wheeling it back in

Now it's time to pit the handling of the new Proton against the older one

I was that close. No zooming. Pretty impressive honestly.

Guess who I bumped into there! FarenFaren, everyone's favourite Nurul!

zees is elekhthrik karh. 

I forgot what this is but ees preeetay. *bimbomodeon*

These next two are the modded cars...

Playing in my head the whole time i saw this 
"This one is for the boys with the boomin' system

Top down, AC with the coolin' system"

yeah. Anyway.there was also an sms contest which i obviously didn't win anything from. i'm not lucky like that at all. nope nope nope.

What are the odds that it gets cloudy again as we're about to leave. RUN RUN RUN RUN!


This is a story that will cinch the deal on globophobia. It's a real and valid fear. Even though it's a fear many are suffering from, it is still considered an uncommon phobia. Why are people afraid of balloons? For the most part, it more of the fear of it popping. That would be lygirophobia, which is the fear of loud noises.

But today, my story takes a different turn.

My story starts,funnily enough, at the 4th Putrajaya Hot Air Balloon Fiesta on the 17th of March. It was a sunny Saturday morning. Caught a few balloons taking off. Yayness! After watching the big guns go off, it was bazaar time!!! I hunted down my usual hot air balloon fiesta vice : Bubbles

Pretty much this guy when it comes to bubbles.

Never knew bubble hunting could be so frustrating. Now bubble guns are all the trend. What happened to good old bubble blowing the old fashioned way? It's just a little science to it! The fun type of science at that  :(  After much hunting and over priced bubbles, finally found a normal, regular bottle of bubbles.

This stall didn't have it. That stick costs 3 bucks Nuh-uh

Found a lady selling really old stock and she let me have it for rm2. I can't find my picture of it. It was a purple Thomas the train shaped bottle. Creepy, but purple so yay! LET THE BUBBLE BLOWING BEGIN!
EDIT: found the picture of my loot from the fiesta. That's the notebook that fell from the 8tv truck and when i tried to give it back the crew just ignored the book in my outstretched hand. bleh YU! And the glorious Baked cookies. Reminds me of the cookies my mom used to bake. :( They were at FMFA too! And that purple thing in the corner is the bubble bottle! ( which Mikayla wheedled into giving to her a week later D: such a softie)

Moving on, there were 8tv crew, giving out balloons and freebies. Pink balloon makes me fly. Here are pictures of the pink balloon.

Bowties and owls. best combo of the day.

Oh cute pink truck driven by a cute old lady, why you so funny......

I spotted a nice empty, grassy area for an impromptu jump shot op! Glad my outfit of the day allowed me to do that. 
Teal layered top from F.O.S
Army green denim shorts from Brands Outlet 
Purple slim-fit sneakers from All Star (china brand one ar)

Such good times. Fun in the sun, all pink, perky and happy. And as always, I was prepared to say goodbye to it. All good balloon fun comes to an end at some point, usually, very short period of time, it being a balloon and all, mean to burst, deflate after it has served its purpose of momentary fun. Or so I thought.

Left the balloon in J's car since that day. Oddly, for the following weekends, I do see the balloon. and... it strangely never burst despite being left in the car under the sun for more than a week. Day in, day out, heat and rain. Then just this weekend, he dumped it in my car. ok, i guess? 

Picked up some friends later and, I can't quite remember what he said exactly, but I was telling him to be careful of the freaky balloon, and he said something that was to the effect of me getting this balloon recently. I then proceeded to explain when I got it. And there was a slight shock. Because.... this is how it looks like today, 9th of April 2012.

Close to a month after getting the balloon, it still looks the same. Not deflating, didn't burst. Just... like that la

He was saying, "yeah right, if it's that long it would have shrunk by now!"
As you can see, not much difference. It's just a balloon right? Maybe it's a real high quality balloon. Maybe. I hope so. So, for now, I'll let it brood in the back seat of my car, to live out its years accompanied by umbrellas and tissue boxes. Who's to say when its life should end? Who am I to burst it? It's stronger than I gave it credit for definitely.

It somehow scares me. Brings globophobia to a whole new level of pointless and odd.

That concludes the Putrajaya trip and the tale of the Odd Balloon. I do hope its not plotting my demise, sitting in the backseat of my car with all the time in the world.

i hope.

Friday, April 06, 2012

What's up , Buttercup?

So, this is a list of things to look out for ...up and coming on this blog :
Beware, much girliness to ensue.

1. How to Shop for the perfect (or close to it) Shoes : Tips, tricks and tests!
2. Outfit of the day/week
3. Backlogged Future Music Festival update (more of WOMBATS)

That's about it for now....but stay tooonnneeedddd.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Totally dude...totally Total Image....mengg...

Many companies have been around for years, usually businesses, food franchises and the like. But what do you think about cosmetics and beauty? Would you really think they are a scam? Scamming gullible women through the ages? Not all, really not all.

I recently attended Total Images 21st Anniversary/Birthday  in mYoga @the Gardens.  We registered and got these high quality stickers that we had to stick on ourselves in order to collect the goodie bags later. A bit shy la i feel, because everyone seems older, more established, or are models. Really. The long leggy kind. And beauty queens all prepped in their sashes.

Anyway to get the ball rolling, they had a magician to entertain us.

He was pretty ok....not the best I've seen but he did put up a good fight. It felt a litttllleeeee bit awkward at some points where the trick didn't go as planned, but some were pretty impressive. What else was impressive?

Miss Amber Chia gracing the event with her presence! She was there with her son and presumably her dad. She was a model mom! As dressed up and poised as she was, she took time to play with her son and talk to him, not leaving him 100% in the care of her father and the main.

Anyway, next up was very, mind boggling. But not really. It being a yoga centre and all, it only seemed apt to have a yoga demonstration. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Some serious muscle business going on here. That dude had the grace and poise of a seasoned ballet troupe performer. Amazing control! 

These women are loyal Total Image Collagen consumers. I guess it really works?
They look pretty good for their age :)
They gave their testimonies on how the product helped them and it was pretty eye-opening for me.

badly taken picture of the cake cutting ceremony, YAY! CAKE! 

The fun part! lucky draw! oh i didn't say.... When we registered, we were asked to sign on a number of our choice and they would pick a number for the 3 prizes. Sadly, I was two numbers short of the 3rd place number. D: ngeh.

That kind of wrapped it up, so... it was mile around waiting time... So what I did was...

Amber Chia moment! :D She's really tall! and her outfit that day was pretty sweet :D 
Wish I had a better camera DD; the place had horrible lighting.

Outside mYoga. So loving the palazzo pants! Super comfy and goes with anything!
*sidetrack outfit talk*

Purple tank top : Voir
Black cropped jacket : Cotton On
Palazzo pants : Times Square

See that green bag? Wanna know what's inside?
Ta-Da!!! Top view of the goodie bag.
Whats in it?

Basically, that's about it. There were other paperwork stuff, forms, fliers, but i didn't take a picture for that. WHoops.

Seems pretty healthy, but I haven't tried any ... YET... but seeing how high the market price is... I should... soon....

Hmm, either way, MAYBE I'll update about it when do I take it....we'll see