Monday, February 14, 2011

thank you

i underestimated you. i underestimated the effect you could have.
it helped me so much. and it took me off guard.

thank you for believing in me.
thank you.there's no more other words.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

more to think about.

in a limbo
who's right? who's wrong?
voices from all directions.
unwise decisions made.
so many things that cannot be undone.
so much to make right.

everything sets me on rocky roads and shaky ground. and i forget.
but jJ sent me a song that pretty much reminded me.

"take your time and pray"
how could i forget?
i should have remembered when i didn't feel the total peace i should have
emotions,anger and upsets clogged up the path i should have taken.
no one human source can be 100% right,but all it takes it one God-source to know what is right.

and after having those thoughts in the morning with the word 'forgive' heavy on my heart, the sermon today really threw in the punchline. i take it as a confirmation for such a specific event. the speaker mentioned that God changed his topic last friday,as he had a different message lined up for us. last friday.that's just so,wow... such a specific time, not a day earlier or a day later.

+past pains should be forgotten,because if you don't let go, it will hinder us from seeing greater things happen to us.
+ always go back to God and look to him, men will only let you down,
why is it so difficult to do that? He has never and will never disappoint us
+always wait upon Him,He has answers, HIS way.not ours

+ don't disqualify yourself, God doesn't do it to us, why do we do it to ourselves?
-He gives us a 1000 chances if we truly try everytime.He is gracious and merciful.
-some of us (me :P) are stupid and will tend to repeat the same mistakes so many times till we get it right.
+ and in everything, praise Him :)

All in God's timing. And the more i think alongside the way He intends, the more things are revealed and pinpointed. Some things are just absolutely piercing,painful. Some stir up a strange discomfort, the getting-kicked-out-of-the-comfortzone feeling. Despite the buzzing of anger,distrust,hurt and fears,the word forgive still rings everything else silent.

what is it to forgive?
+to cease to feel resentment against:
what happens then?
not holding grudges while being cautious towards the people who have hurt you.
as painful as it can be.
wise we must be.
fire against fire only destroys forests.
sometimes it's ok to give benefit of the doubt, and just not have any expectations or assumptions.
although it would be nice to be able to believe without hesitation or skepticism.
spite and disbelief never helps anyone or any situation.
God grants wisdom and peace,we need only ask.

Many times we want things our way,
we always want to believe the comfortable things.
but when you think about it thoroughly, is it rational?
is it rational to want someone who has double standards?
is it rational to support something that is not right?
to accept and be content with leading someone on while you allow yourself to be swayed?
how do you react to injustice?
how do you react to something that is not right?
sometimes it's just best to walk away.
despite a heavy heart.

things will work out one day.
to be able to do things i don't have to hide.
do be able to declare openly.
to trust wholeheartedly
to be proud of every step made.

be strong in the Lord and never give up hope

Thursday, February 10, 2011


I'm glad you came to a decision. and I understand and am ok with the outcome. i'm glad you decided to do the right thing.

i allowed myself to get hurt expecting something i should have known better about. my intentions did not match up with my actions and that wasn't right. i should have put my foot down from the start. but now at least i'm honest with myself. after years of moulding myself into someone else to make others happy, i've learnt that it's never the best thing to want to change someone into someone else just to make yourself happy and satisfied.

from what i've observed, it's about accepting flaws and emphasizing the good points. if we change, we change for ourselves without losing the essence of who we are. love him,love ALL of him. if we change, we change to be a better person. as perfectly made as we are, there's always room for improvement. we should decide for ourselves in the end, after considering input from others. different people have different priorities when it comes to relationships. Personally, i look for trust and commitment, acceptance and unconditional love. a relationship is an US thing, not a ME thing or a YOU thing. so it should be about making US happy,not just ME or YOU.

i'm still trying,i've got a long long way to go, but it's never to late to start. all in all, as much as this is just my personal opinion, if possible look towards the Godly opinions. He knows whats best and He would want us to focus on important parts of a relationship. it's never about the physical aspect and should never be based on that for any reason whatsoever.

it doesn't pay to be bitter. as much as i wanted things to work out or go a certain way, i have to live with the circumstances and accept that people will be insincere and hurtful.

and because i care for you, i'm happy you found someone new.

there's a certain peace despite the heartache and disappointment.that's good.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


lost count of the amount of time spent on someone who does not appreciate the value of time.

memories just wiped out like tht

Monday, February 07, 2011

run run as fast as yu can

i admit it ohkay? i was running away.running away while waiting.
taking the long way to the finish line.
i admit it

Sunday, February 06, 2011


a promise is a promise
even though you know the ending.
even when it's an agonizing wait.

a promise is a promise