j00 iz hooman? naish...

I was mentioning to a friend that right now i felt my emotions were like grass travelling through the four stomachs of a cow. One stomach is aching and hurting and mourning, another is trying to get by, another is making the best out of the situation and the last is trying to move on. And i feel this isn't just applicable for relationship issues,it could be anything from dealing with loss, failure etc....

I'm travelling in between mourning and trying to move on,while one can't deny the pangs of disappointment and regret at the same time,I am grateful for the people around me and therefore trying to make the best out of my situation. Trying to appreciate the joy and laughter around me and trying to pick myself up from the ashes :) (think pretty phoenix woo woo!)

There's still some indignation within me that wants to fight for the truth, but there's the majority of common sense and logic telling me to suck it up like a man and let him think what he wants, why argue if it will only hurt the other party more? that's definitely not what i want . i don't want to hurt anyone, it's unthinkable to do that to a loved one. so let it go, Annna, let it go...

*takes deep breath*

Have you ever followed a certain invisible prodding to do things without knowing why?

Today i experienced it in the simplest way of clicking on a name that popped up in ym, and that lead to a comforting knowledge that i am truly not alone in my situation, as painful and alone as i may feel. It reminds me of the people i have failed to bond with due to my lack of wisdom in dealing in my situation. It was very refreshing seeing things in an entirely different perspective, balancing both the negative and positive scale. The conversation was an awesome picker-upper, and i was greatly encouraged by such a humble, matured and honest point of view. in a worldly situation, the mentality would have been to wallow in it while cursing the other half, so it was great to know that there are people who have and can handle it with maturity and humble good nature (forgive me for repetition of words, there is no other way to describe how it is) it also reminded me how difficult it is to come by genuine people, and how i should appreciate those who have truly been there for me, no matter what judgment has been made against them. As i shamelessly copied of Caryn's FB status :

"it takes zero talent to see the faults of others, but takes more to see the best in others"

It truly is easier to see the negative in situations and people alike,(i admit that,guilty guilty me ) and no matter what people may say or think, i also truly believe that there is good in everyone, and i try my best to acknowledge and encourage the best in others, while reacting to the more negative bound with more discretion and wisdom but as it deserves.This is no easy feat, i promise you. Now, I'm not saying one should blindly assume everyone is an angel. One should always have the discernment to know which is genuinely positive and what isn't as well as the wisdom and ability to separate the two and treat as is best for both sides ( also the in betweens). somehow, I'm not sure about you, but it is quite discouraging to be put down for acknowledging one good thing about someone who isn't at the top of every ones favourite list.

Everyday i pray that i will have the wisdom to deal with my situation and circumstances, with the hope that something good will somehow come from all this pain, be it for either party. I believe that if you truly care about someone, you would want only the best for them, even if the painful truth is that you are not part of the best for them. There will always be the struggle to let go. I only wish you what you deserve and what's best for you.