you made

you made me cry just to hear a sorry that's not due to you

Christmas Resolutions

So what I'm trying to do for the coming year :

1. NO SWEARING

- no sh*ts....at all...done it before...i'll do it again

- definitely keeping away from all other four lettered explicits.whether in private or public

2. BE NICE

-try my best to not be...UN-nice... to everyone.whether they're nice to me or not. ESPECIALLY when they're not.

3. DO THE RIGHT THING

- do what is best for the situation, not whether it benefits one party more than the other

- be the bigger person, don't have to insist on being right all the time.

4.BE MORE LADYLIKE

-behave more feminine and gentle...like a REAL girl D:

-in speech and actions

edit:+ 1= 5. NOT BE STUBBORN

-listen more and not be so opinionated

- listen to you...try not to go against you

come on annna....2011 is almost here.. you can do this...

konfirmisi

such a confirmation.not at all that coincidental.that's how i feel anyhow.decisions are important things.and it takes a lot of motivation to make the right one.i decided this morning for the reason that it is the right thing to do.and the word at night seals the deal.it's wonderful the way He moves our stubborn,fearful and indecisive hearts to tread on the right path. not an easy journey to make.i know that.i do hope you continue to motivate and encourage me.but if you don't, i'll be okay too.i just have to remember who i am doing this for.

for the yous and the mes

the us' ...the wes.

for the what- could- bes.

for the what-i'd-like-it-to-bes

for all that's going to be

what i want

it's interesting how words can turn someone a full 180 .

makes me doubt myself, my thoughts, my stand.

makes me wonder what I want

what i think i want

what i should want.

it's interesting how much hope one can put into the uncertain and the unseen

and lose hope in the what was and what used to be.

it shouldn't be about the who.

just the what.

for now.

verdict: i want what's right,

especially for right now.

inside me,i tremble...

“i shake inside with hurt and uncertainty. when will i be right? what is right? what is right for right now?”

the aftermath of the whirlwind that you are

in the wake of the loss of memories in words

all that is left

is the scent of your aftermath.

my fingers lead me through the creases, down the sheets, through your hair

my mind stolidly churns out the many running mares

a light bulb, dangling and swaying

casting uncertain shadows on waiting walls

a brief breeze of a temporary laugh

of contented sighs

my secret carousel of emotions

its colours and music only mine to keep

sugar-coated whispers

sweetness meant to fall away

never meant to stay

yet i'm whisked away to the

playground of your words

of skin

of hushed voices

where was my guard when i need it up

oh how i allow my feet to wander down the paths of intrigue and curiousity

and oh how they fail me sometimes.

this is where i wonder

why no one else would do

why i only could have

the wants for you

it makes me ponder

such a rush

and single lip stain

a single touch

much i've learnt

Sometimes, it's not about losing.... but it's in the realization that, explaining to a someone who is set in their own ways with no urge of learning and becoming better, is a waste of effort.

they will choose to never understand.

they will choose to defend what they think they know

they will choose to exert faux-intellect.

and i'm learning to save my breath and effort for people who are worth the time.

most of the time, i only say because i care :) and if i stop :) it's quite easy to tell why.

it's not about the losing...it's about walking away from the boxing ring gracefully while the "opponent" is busy punching himself in the face :)