facing the music

i literally wasn't able to face the music due the implications and strings tied to it. today i will face it.

whitley is awesome....

attack

so i woke up with scratches... wonder how that came about... oh ! Oh! i have two little bites, tiny vampirish bites too....sigh

i moved

so i was standing in my new room... no more private bathroom, i was sharing the one downstairs with a couple of the girls in the house. my room seemed pretty neat...odd but true.

My bathroom was odd, longish, had to go through a small aisle cluttered with mops and pails before i reached the shower. All the while i was thinking to myself, why did i move? why didn't i check out the bathroom before i agreed to this? how is anyone gonna use the bathroom knowing they had to fight mops?

walking around the rather spacious hall i bumped into the other house mates. Typical cutecute Chinese ed girls. again i wondered why did i even agree to move out of cyberia.

i felt frustrated, not happy at all. Sitting down in my wooden chair at my desk i suddenly panicked. OH NO! what about the contract? did i let my previous land lord know? was the contract still on? did i breach it? i was plenty worked up, to the verge of calling my mom, at the risk of being sounded for making a decision i was not happy with myself.

then i realised that this couldn't be. So i woke up

the things i do

I was waiting outside your door, juggling as best as i can, doing all that in the vain hope that you will notice me and commend me for my effort. You always wished i could juggle. everyone who passed by stopped to clap and praise me but you didn't think i was good enough. You only glanced out your window past the curtains and never had a thought to invite me in.

Even in my dreams, I'm still your clown...

odd thought #345542

i have jinxed undergarments.now what are the odds of that?

oddly remembered...

My town was a little town near the sea, with only a neighbouring town up the hill,a 30 minute drive up. Many people i knew lived there, many people in real life. It was a quaint yet modern town, but not small enough, so you would meet someone new every month or two.

It seemed to be a norm, this gathering and parties in our spacious but dimly-lit town hall. Everyone would be there, and the town would be empty. That night was no different. Everyone was in that dark, blue-tinged hall. The waves crashed behind us as it always has. Each crash was a simple notification that everything was working,,clockwork-ok. But not that night. It crashed, then there was a deafening silence that slowly worked its way around the hall, muting chatter and raising question marks. i remember the feeling of sudden realization, relating it to a pre-tsunami situation where the waters get sucked into the the crevice in the ocean floor caused by an earthquake. that ugly silence. True enough, a warning came in saying a tsunami was going to hit and we had 30 minutes to get out of town to the nearest town on a hill.

Oddly, everyone seemed rather calm as they exited the hall, strolling out, chatting amongst themselves. i bumped into CherryE. who introduced me to her beau, a fair, pasty, fragile looking boy with delicate features.i somehow had the impression then that somehow her unity with him was something quite shameful of which she was proud off,unfortunately. She mentioned his name but i never quite got it. I mentioned that he reminded me of tofu, and that riled his emotions quite a bit and i was engaged to hear the soft and gentle albeit feminine speech but never did quite absorbed what he was saying to defend himself. i grew tired of him and excused myself for i had more important things to tend to.

I walked home, and spotted a couple of family friends who stated that they weren't going to pack or leave. They never did say why. Reaching home, my bags were quite packed,some small mattresses, and i felt i needed to pack photographs. i couldn't decide at first, there were so many. i finally settled on a single family take and a portrait of myself that i don't have in real life.My family and ShengL., who was with us for some reason piled into my dad's Mpv, mattresses and all. Somehow, we were all quite calm,and yet we understood that time was running out.

As we drove up the hill, the waves started crashing,somehow layer by layer, barely meters away behind us as we went. We looked back in silence and a still anger. We reached the top, right in the backyard of a media/newspaper office. Just as we got over the edge onto flat ground the waves stopped right behind us, leveling what was once atop a hill to a sudden seaside location. We grimaced as we got out of the car, taking in the blue sea that had just swallowed my town. I had no words for the waters that seemed like cut-out paper waves.

We hurried into the office through its back entrance. My dad had already hurried to the chief editor's office demanding why none of this was found out earlier. The discussion went on while i waited for my mom outside the ladies and handed her a Styrofoam cup of Boh tea. I had one myself. i looked around at my cousin and siblings and wondered in silence.

i woke up, trying to understand the meaning of it all.

FAMILY DAY

So today was kinda a family day for me, stayed over night with family at aunt's place in Sbg the night before, and morning my bro dropped by before work. Then, it was IKEA time! I got my gravad lax (woot! Raw salmon yo!) , and my early birthday present #2- a goldfish bowl type lamp!!! *lublublubs so march* (pics will be up if i un-lazify myself) My mom said she wanted to give it to me just to light up my life abit :) *lubs momsies su march!*

Then at night (more like 5 onwards), was spent with my bro. His milk company had a company family day, and since his girlfriend's not around, i became family stand-in :P Wowee.... so many new faces *shyshys* So it was dinner in the GSC area in Tropicana Mall and Karate Kid after.

Honestly, i've never been to TM save for that one new year's day last minute fireworks viewing with Kev, Mattmatt and MummyJemJem. So it was like a jakun experience for me :P and i found an awesome awesome, delicious, heart pumping,sexy, awesome awesome book store there~!!! All the designing books to your heart's content without the clutter of unappreciative humans, especially unruly children who cannot comprehend the beauty of books. i was so afraid to touch anything,for fear that i might want everything(which i did touch and did want but had lotsa self-control) and i managed to buy the Advertising Design book i was supposed to buy for AD!(formerly known ad MI)

ahhhhhH~~~~~~~~~~~

imma definitely go back there soon! beats heading all the way to noisy KLCC for children-overrun kinokunya.

(gah! can't stop thinking about it!)

Anyway, moving on, Karate Kid ain't no kid movie. It's really violent! ( i had kinda wired my brain to think 'FAMILY-FRIENDLY') bleh! but that aside it was pretty funny :D (i laughed more in A-team though) What more, i got feedback from my bro and KYeo that the girl (which girl? there's only one, don't worry ) reminds them of Laura :P

(huge downside to the day, ninja joe was closed for the night when we finally got there *heartbroken over porku burgeru*)

My bro's really funneh tooo~ Why?

-Train scene in movie:

ME: HEY, where is this place???? It's really nice!

Bro : Hogwarts... (mind you the movie took place in China)

so...AHahahahahaa......

Had a good talk with bro during the journey too :) Reaffirmation with a healthy balance of self confidence is a recipe for high self esteem :)

As much as sometimes you feel like a good-for-nothing , as long as you know your strong points, and optimize them, you have no reason to be any less confident than the hot hot girl/guy next to you :)

(but don''t be so muka tembok and think you're THHHHAAAAAAAAT perfect la!PERASAN!!!!:p)

Personally, while i feel a pretty face is a plus point (a minus for me tho :C), i, personally la k, personally, feel that if a girl has personality, she shouldn't have to try so hard. it's painful to see girls that are cute (not everybody is gorgeous la, i should know), good at what they do, slim (something else I'm not*sigh*) , and have a standard command of language throw themselves at guys... so many of them do that and i truly believe they don't have to. *sigh*

anyway enough hoo-haa for the night. More to come tomorrow and beyond :)

Light up like a light bulb yo!