the worst thing about making some cry...is doing it again and again and again.

bucket list #24

one thing to check off my bucket list : watching 30 seconds to mars live.mhmm

here's to praying for a second chance.everyone deserves a second chance,at life,at love.

but maybe it's too late.maybe i screwed up too badly this time.unforgivable.there's no one to blame but myself for my mistakes.i never learnt.i hurt people.and i deserve whatever i'm in right now.i really want to make things right...but..no one believes i can do it.that much of a failure?my mistakes will always be held against me.no one to blame but myself.

i really do want to make things right,but i guess i won't be good enough to do that, from the way things are going.my bad habits, my harsh opinions.my wanting to run away every time it hurts.fear of the past unleashing itself on me again.i deserve what i get.no one in their right mind could love someone like me.

tanah tumpahnya darahku

call me cheesy, but i re-visited my school days in just a matter of two minutes.everything we were taught,not everything was as bad as we think it to be now.

it wasn't just another song (well maybe it was) but the point is, a flag is not just a flag.it's a symbol of what we stand for.What we put on it, becomes part of our identity.

it's just a song maybe, but i am someone who combs through lyrics and in this case, i actually take them seriously. how could one not feel so much sadness over what is going on?typing through tears over the country i was born and bred in,if the earth could speak,how would she cry out against such travesty? against disrespect and greed?

what about the injustice towards those only trying to keep her clean?

i may not be very vocal (in person or online) about all the current hoo-haa, but i know very well where my heart it. i may not show it physically but Malaysia, you know who loves you.

honestly i cannot believe i am gettin this emotional over this. but when something means so much to you, you will feel the pain, the pinch.

but one thing i know for sure, He's got everything covered.

--

is it growing up when you don't feel the pain like you used to?when you can look only at the good things and look on the bright side,count your blessings?

when you don't feel regret but only wish someone the best? it's not about blacking out the bad things and pretend they never happened, but it's about forgiving and concentrating on what matters most to you now.

it's about the now. yes, one can look back to see how far they have come. but it's not about blaming only one other person without learning something yourself.

here's to knowing there are better things out there than bitterness. here's to knowing that only He can make our burden light.only He can remove our pain. We are never truly free till we have that peace. We can't "generate" that kind of peace that frees us from the bondage of bitterness.Ignorance isn't the solution either.

Here's to truly being able to forgive.